The Path

Written by Nidian Tuesday, 10 August 2010 14:43

These verses started off as an attempt to understand a friend with a great sadness in her life. I first tried to write in prose but these verses came out instead. I suppose this allowed me to try to attain a meaning that is not possible otherwise.

The ending reveals my wish for her to reach some kind of resolution and continue with her life.

~~~

I cannot feel. I am emotionless.

Then there is numbness beyond numbness and a pain beyond pain.

Only death will release me

An infinite unwinding empty path where I breathe the foul cloud of despair.

Hot coals sear my tearless soul.

Yet I tread the path for there is nothing else

I awake from this dread dream to an icy waste.

I tread the numbing cold that stills all life. Yet it is the same path.

The path follows me from my dream and I follow the path.

On and on and on…..never ending…..

The cold rain comes.

I am chilled and choked by the deluge.

Washing, washing, washing.

Washing away my dream within a dream

As if freed of poison my spirit sends up a small shoot.

A glimmer of sunlight, a new green leaf, then a single drop of water hanging there.

I feel, then taste, a single tear.

My tears now, are a babbling brook.

Why do I welcome this new unhappiness?

The brook runs beside that same path

What is this path?

Who follows who?

A cold breeze with the smell of new life finds me

It cools my sorrow smeared cheeks.

I tread the path one foot in front of the other.

I go on, though know not why

There it is! A wonder!

A bud pushing through the cold earth.

An unopened bloom.

I lie down and embrace the bud with my sobbing.

Sobbing, sobbing, sobbing

On my back now, a gentle sun dries my tears.

One last sob, a deep breath, a sigh, eyes wide open

I thought I was empty when I was full.

NOW I am empty.

Spring and sweet blooms

The smell of new mown hay

The sun on the meadow

The moon’s shadow

The smile of a child

The warmth of friends

My indomitable spirit

I begin again to fill my cup.

I tread the path never ending…